Hello friends! I have been a little MIA the past week, but I’m back now, promise! I completely lost my motivation after watching my friends and teammates graduate on Monday. It just got me thinking about how quickly high school goes by and all of the kids that I had never seen before in the shallow crowd of 150 graduates. Moreover, I got a little blue because I had to say goodbye to my beloved seniors; it was especially gutting because we were on the brink of forming a solid friendship before lockdown occurred. On a different note, a while back, Lexi from “What Lexi Loves,” revisited a letter she wrote to herself five years ago, which initially inspired this post! Now feels like a great time to write it because Monday was a turning point for me, and I think I have more insights into what my older friends went through now. I’ve scheduled for the letter to be emailed to me from “FutureMe” in two and a half years on my birthday. So now, without further ado, here is what I had to say to my future 18 year old self!
First of all, happy birthday! You’re legal now babe (that’s such a scary thought for little 15 year old me/us)! I thought I would give you a little run down of our current situation just so you have some perspective. Right now it’s July 16, 2020; we are still in a pandemic, but restrictions are lifted a little. Most of my time is consumed by running and blogging, and I’m in a weird (but healthy!!) nutrition phase. I’m pretty happy, to be honest, a little anxious, but happy. Anyway, let’s talk about you! I have so much I want to know!
What’s happening in your life? Do you have the same friend group? A boyfriend? (Definitely not loll…) Are you okay? It’s okay to not be okay. Things could be crazy. The world’s freaking insane. I hope everything’s okay. You deserve to be happy and to have a good senior year. Speaking of which, stop holding yourself back! I know that you (probably) feel like you don’t deserve to be happy or that you’re not good enough, but you do and you are. Stop comparing yourself to others. Little 15 year old you tried so hard to stop, and is actually doing pretty good, so don’t discount her work! Have fun and let loose. Quoting ST, “Don’t be afraid to be yourself Meghan, so that means beat up your freshman…” You are capable of so much, just please get out of your own way.
Let’s talk about running for a second. You just finished your senior cross country season; how did it go?!? That’s so exciting! I know that right now I have big goals for that season. Did you give it your all? Did you have fun? You can take running a little too seriously sometimes, don’t forget that it’s fun! Form strong bonds with your team. Treat your freshman how your seniors treated you; make them feel special and loved. Are you captain? How’s that going? I really do hope that you are still running. If not, I can imagine how hard that can be and I’m going to do everything that I can now to make sure that you ran. (This is really weird tense wise, but I hope you get what I’m saying…) OHH college! I almost forgot! I haven’t done any research yet, so there’s no dream or goal, but I hope that you don’t stress too much, go with your gut!
I have a feeling that you may be having an identity crisis/mental breakdown while reading this, so I’ll leave you with a few reminders: You are special. Your goals are achievable, and you should not be ashamed of them. Food is fuel and your body needs rest. You are loved. You control your destiny, so do not be afraid to be heard and seen. Be happy for others, they are not your competition. Lastly, have fun! Enjoy the rest of your senior year and birthday!!!!
Party hard girl!!!
-15 year old you 🙂