In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’ve decided to address something that irks my friends and me: teen relationships, or lack there of. It’s no secret that it’s one of the most anticipated and disappointing part of teen years. Now, before we jump in, I just want to say that these are just my opinions and experiences. Feel free to (respectfully) share your thoughts in the comments.
I’ve had many a sleepover where our main topic of discussion was boys. Mainly, who was going to get a boyfriend first and how. Now, this was not a group of girls gushing over their crushes. In fact, none of us even had crushes at that point. We were strategizing; who, what, where, when, and how this was going to happen. We would come up with names, and even if someone was even slightly attracted to that person, immediate pressure would be put on them. While all of this was fun, the majority of my friends were being serious; one of us needed to get a boyfriend.
Isn’t that a ridiculous thought? A group of amazing girls, who have basically never talked to a guy their entire lives, feel like they need a boyfriend. The majority of us don’t even want to date; it’s awkward, and honestly, we don’t have the best options. I’m going to go out on a limb here, and say that most teenagers don’t want to date, they just want the experience. Really, that’s all high school dating is, trial runs before we go out into the real world. That’s why it makes sense that so much pressure is put on dating in high school, it would be completely terrifying to have to experience all of the aspects of dating for the first time out of the controlled setting high school students are in. However, while I do think that dating in high school is, for the most part, beneficial, it should not be a main priority. It’s not healthy, or safe, to constantly be pursuing people. Additionally, even though sometimes it may not seem like it, there are more important things. There’s still school, sports, extracurriculars, and friends. Not to be annoying, but I’ve seen way to many friendships torn apart by boy-craziness. I guess my main point is that there are so many other things in your life, so please don’t neglect them to the possibility of dating.
For those of you reading this who are a little bummed today: who cares if you’re spending Valentine’s Day alone? You’re 16 for Pete’s sake! Honestly, do you think it’ll matter that you were lonely on Valentine’s Day in high school? Take this as an opportunity to treat yourself. Do a face mask, or yoga, or take a bath. Just chill out and practice some self care, you deserve it. Things will work out eventually. Be patient. I’m sorry I jumped around a lot (not a great first impression), but I’ll leave you with this: an S.O. can’t complete you, but they will make you better. Even if it takes sometime, you will find your person.
Hi Meghan! My name is Faye and I’m an Auntie. I write a column for teen advice. I tripped on your blog and I must say–I love your attitude. Guys are an interesting and necessary part of our lives but don’t need to be focus. Believe me when I say that it WILL happen. High school and those awkward teen years will pass. And Valentines Day is mostly just a time of consumerism. Have you heard of “Gal”intine’s….Treat yourself well and love yourself before you invite another in. Keep writing.
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Hi Faye! Let me just say, your comment made my day! (It was lost in a plethora of emails…) My friends an I actually celebrated “galentines day” this year! Thank you so much for your feed back!
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You’re very welcome. And good for you and your gal-pals…to celebrate in spite of…
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Beautiful message!
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