advice, Life, Me

What It’s Like to Drift Away from Your Best Friend

Hello friends! It’s Meghan, and today we’re getting personal. Today, I am going to share my thoughts, feelings, and experiences about drifting away from my best friend. What I mean by that is a slow incognicent unfriending.  I’m sure this is something you’ve experienced (or will at some point), and it’s quite an odd thing- one day you’re friends, and the next day you’re not, but you don’t seem to notice.

Now, this is just what I went through in two of my close childhood relationships. You’ll hear about this in a second, but both friendships started to fade away after the first year of middle school, which can be a rough time, so strength to anyone going through that, or this, right now.

Throughout elementary school, I had two best friends. One friend, who’s the focus of this post, was nothing less than my sister. She spent every day at my house, my parents treated her as their own, and we went everywhere together, heck she even had a drawer in my room! My other friendship had a rough start, but we truly brought out the best in eachother despite being polar opposites. These two girls were not friends, in fact they despised eachother, bringing up so much petty 9 year old drama, but that’s besides the point.

I entered middle school with 2 best friends and 5-10 close friends, and left with 3 close friends. Most of my close friends were, as horrible as this sounds, just convenient- we lived close to eachother, or had known eachother since pre-school- you know how childhood friends are. Honestly, it made sense that we didn’t all stick together, and I was okay with it.

Oh, but my two best friends. Two completely differently people and relationships, but just about the same ending. Slowly but surely, we started to drift away from eachother. At first we started hanging out a little less, then we started experimenting with other friend groups and found our places… and then it just… stopped…

My parents actually used to blame for losing their “favorite child” because I had started hanging out with my current friends more and kind of just “left my best friend hanging.” I felt guilty at first, and in some ways I still do, but now I relize that it’s no one’s fault. Sure, we were close when we were younger, but we’re different people now, and I know that our mutual split is for the better. There’s no use in forcing something that isn’t meant to be.

I actually tried to rekindle our friendship, and it was clear to me that our chapter had ended. She came on vacation with us, and it ended up being pretty awkward. She still fit perfectly into our family, but we were no longer the friends that could tell secrets to eachother and truly be ourselves. We are now the friends that annually meet up for ice cream and talk about our past and text heartbreakingly true, yet empty “I miss you”s on birthdays.

It’s definitely an odd feeling to look at the person who you were once joined at the hip with, (and when I say that, I mean it) and have no idea who they are. And it hurts to think about all of the memories you shared and time spent together and know that things will never be the same, but you also have to know that it’s okay. It’s okay that you moved on, and it’s important to treasure the time spent together and the value that they brought to your life.

Have you had a similar experience? Let me know in the comments! Thanks so much for reading and have a fantastic day!

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20 thoughts on “What It’s Like to Drift Away from Your Best Friend”

  1. I actually entered Junior High with five close friends, who I ended up drifting apart from and left with three close friends and an entire class as my family. My three close friends were there by my side and now that we’re all at different schools, we still try to maintain contact but it’s hard. I want to rekindle our friendship but I’m not sure where to start. Two of my friends have shown interest that they still want to hang out ( due to covid this is impossible ) but I did ride the bus with one of them! Drifting from best friends isn’t a good feeling for me personally because I end up reflecting on times that have already passed and it ends up hurting me in the end 🤍

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    1. That sounds really difficult, but definitely try reaching out! Even if it’s just a FaceTime call.

      I do that too, especially at night, and it can be really frustrating. Just have to remember that’s it’s natural and no ones fault💞

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ve had only two good friends in my life, and even now I feel like they’re both kind of drifting away because one of my friends started going to Highschool, and my other one is so absorbed is her sport.
    It’s making me uncomfy 😅

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  3. yes, I completely get this. I used to be best friends with this one girl but looking back we never really were close we were as you said ‘convenient’. However my best friend right now I have been best friends with since I was a new born baby so I guess I can say I’ve had a life long friend! I’m now in a friendship group of 8 and the 8 of us are so close !! Loved this post !! xo

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  4. i hope you are okay – i know you said it was a while ago but still. i had been best friend with a this girl who lives 11 doors away from me for 9 years but then we go put in different classes and it’s not like we stopped being friends we’ve just drifted and now whenever i see her it’s really sad but i have other friends now and we can still chat if we pass each other its just not like it used to be 😦

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  5. I’ve never quite been an extrovert but I’m not an introvert either. I don’t mind hanging out with friends but honestly could go without regular social time. Unless I resonate very deeply with someone, shallow connection just makes me feel lonely. I used to have a best friend who I was very close to when I was younger. We started drifting apart two years ago after I’d just moved to her school. It was so ironic because we’d literally wanted that setup our entire lives! To spend day in and day out with each other. Our parents were family friends basically. Her dad and mine moved to Australia as college students from Pakistan. Eventually they branched out and had families of their own after moving to Sydney from Perth. For a long while we lived about five minutes away from each other. So close I could’ve walked to her place. I slept over at her house when my brother was born and we’d literally split our breakfast plates of eggs. I liked the yolk and her the whites so we’d literally perform a dissection, hahah.

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    1. I do have a similar experience with social energy! It does really feel empty and discouraging when there’s no real connection!

      That is really interesting! I can’t imagine how that I filed and now that impacted you, but it does sound like an adorable friendship!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I hope you are well Meghan! Honestly, I can’t relate as I’m an extrovert but I hope you are having a nice time with your current friends. You are one of my blogging besties and I can’t think of how someone would drift away from you; but if you ever need to talk, I’m here! ❤

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  7. I definitely relate to this post. I was heartbroken when I realized my friends and I were drifting apart. I remember crying alone. But now, I understand that it’s part of life and we should be thankful for the beautiful memories we have of them.
    Beautiful post!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ahhhh. Totally feel this one. I love how you talk about things like this, I can completely relate! It is extremely strange and most of the time quite painful to look at the person you used to know so well, and not even know them anymore. It brings lots of lost memories and aching nostalgia that’s for sure haha. Great post Meghan! 😉

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  9. It’s the worst feeling drifting away from your best friend and for the most part you long for that friendship back in your life! I just wrote about the value of friendship and how I take losing a best friend really hard! Hope you’re keeping safe 💕

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  10. Something similar to this happened to me before and I think it might be happening again right now which kinda sucks but it’s good to know that it’s something that happens to everyone 💖Loved your post! xx

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  11. True… Even I have this friend, we were “besties for life” until last year and now we’re….just there… It was awkward at first, especially when we met months later after lockdown, but now we’re good. Not best friends anymore… Just ‘friends’… It’s hard and painful when you drift away from someone you planned your future with…but guess it happens with everyone… It’s an important phase of our lives. Thanks for sharing this and I hope you’re doing okay…😊

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